SPONSOR/SPONSEE SEVENTH STEP WORKSHEET
"We humbly asked him to remove our shortcomings."
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Let's talk about shortcomings before we get into this step. Are shortcomings the same as defects? The answer is yes and no. As strange as it might seem it is true. We say they are the same because they have their roots in the defect. We say they are different because the shortcoming is acting out of the defect. For example, let's take the defect of impatience. You are waiting to pick somebody up for a meeting. You are doing them a favor and going out of your way. At 7:00 pm you arrive on time. It's now 7:20 pm and they are not ready yet and you might be late for the meeting. At this point many shortcomings of the defect of impatience are about to be acted out. You may get angry, frustrated and resentful. These are shortcomings that are born of a defect. Many of the same shortcomings come from different defects.
In the Sixth Step we become entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. In the Seventh Step we will see how God does this when we humbly ask him to remove our shortcomings. Before we actually learn how to apply this step, let's look at what the Seventh Step says.
It starts out by saying, "we humbly asked him." When we recognize the fact that we are responsible for our shortcomings even though we are not responsible for our defects, we are becoming humble. Let me explain, in the First Step we learned we were not responsible for having the disease (dependency) and therefore part of us. They will always be there, but they can be arrested. That is how they are removed.
Now understanding the shortcomings or acting out our defect is our responsibility. We become humble when we accept this. What we did was just apply the First Step to our shortcomings. Next we see the insanity of acting out our shortcomings. Next we decide to turn our lives and our shortcomings to the care of the God of our understanding. This will give us strength and the courage to act mature and responsible. We have just applied the Third Step to our shortcomings. The solution of all our problems can be found in the Steps. The first three steps become the foundation of our solutions and the Tenth, Eleventh, and Twelfth Steps are the way we keep our solutions working. This is a lifetime process because our disease is always with us, waiting for us to let our spiritual guard down so it can strike at us. This is why we go to meetings the rest of our lives and stay close to NA people, so that we stay green. Remember-- when you're green, you are growing. When you are ripe, you began to rot.
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Write on a separate piece of paper the questions and answers to the following and give to your sponsor:
1. What is the difference between defects and shortcomings?
2. How do we become humble?
3. What are shortcomings?
4. How do we keep our disease from resurfacing?
5. What are defects?
6. Why do we have to go to meetings as long as we are alive?
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SPONSOR/SPONSEE EIGHTH STEP WORKSHEET
"We made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all."
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Many addicts become overwhelmed when they start this step. Most of them don't understand why we have to deal with this part of our past. We feel we dealt as best we could with these things when we did the Fourth and Fifth steps and therefore, we are not very willing to make a list. The thing we must remember is that the step does not say be willing and make a list. It simply says make a list of all people we had harmed, and THEN became willing.
We can now see this is a two-part step. Let's talk about the first part of the step, making a list. The first two names that should be put on our list are your higher power and then yourself. Many times we get stuck with the old con, did we really harm this person. If there is any doubt at all, list them. Many times during our addiction there are many faceless people in our memory that we harmed. Never really knowing many of them and some we just can't remember their names. Make one entry on your list called Faceless People. In your Ninth Step you will be told what to do with them. Once your list has been done we are ready to work on the second half of the step.
This part of the step can be difficult for some of us if we approach it with the wrong attitude. We must accept the fact that NA says we must live all the steps in our lives if we are to have a program of recovery. Remember the First Step was our past and the things of the past that are with us today. The next eleven steps were to be our future. If we are to have any future that is productive and manageable, we must take the responsibility to be willing. The way we do this is first to accept we are powerless and surrender, we must do this. First Step applied to the Eighth. Next we must realize we can't afford to be unwilling. We must do it a different way, be willing. In other words, act mature and responsible and make amends.
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We have just applied a Third Step to the Eighth. Throughout these worksheets we talk about the first Three Steps in relation to the other steps. By now you must realize how those Steps must be lived and applied to every area of our lives. Without the steps we are living dead.
On a separate sheet of paper write on the following and return to your sponsor:
1. How many parts are there to this step?
2. Why must you start this step even if you are not willing?
3. Why must all the steps be lived?
4. How do I become willing?
5. How are the first three steps used in the eighth?
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